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Seeing the Unseen, Listening to the Unheard: Unsilencing Sexually Traumatized Children’s Voices in Play Therapy

By Jodi Ann Mullen, PhD LMHC RPT-S

Dumbledore to Harry Potter, “A child’s voice, however honest and true, is meaningless to those who’ve forgotten to listen.” As child mental health professionals these words resonate deeply, urging us to evaluate how we hear the voices of children, particularly those who have been silenced by sexual abuse and trauma.

As mental health professionals, we pride ourselves on being professional listeners. We’ve honed our counseling skills, learned to appreciate spoken and unspoken communication, and mastered the art of understanding patterns and themes in our client’s narratives. Yet, despite our extensive education and training, we often find ourselves at a loss when it comes to connecting therapeutically to sexually traumatized children and helping them heal.

And then we discover play therapy—the key to hearing the voices of children who have been silenced through the unspeakable trauma of sexual abuse. Through play, the natural and universal communication of children; metaphors, symbols, and behaviors, children communicate in ways that words alone cannot capture nor is possible developmentally. It’s through this medium that we learn to listen to their voices, hear their stories, see and to understand their pain, accompanying them on their journey to healing and wholeness.

But listening to these voices isn’t easy especially when the agendas of adult-centric therapy practices get in our way. It requires us to delve into the dark realities and prevalence of childhood sexual abuse, and to confront our own fears, discomfort, and oftentimes vulnerable child parts. It’s through this that we find growth and healing, both for ourselves and for the children we aim to help.

To truly hear the voices of children who have been sexually traumatized and thus attune to their needs, facilitate growth and healing, we must be willing to see in their communication (play, behavior, verbalizations, facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language and the intersectionality of all forms of communication) what we may not want to know.

Here are some complex processing questions to help guide your play therapy case conceptualization process:

  1. What does the child’s behavior reveal about trust and betrayal in the therapeutic relationship?
  2. Are there themes of trickery emerging in their play? What characters are involved? What does this tell you about the child’s lived experience and how they are navigating their world?
  3. What emotions is the child trying to evoke in us through their interactions? What are you feeling and experiencing? Are there any sensations in your body? What does this tell you about what the child is communicating and about the child’s story?
  4. Do any aspects of their play or behavior feel unsettling or “creepy”? If it feels creepy, it is creepy!
  5. Are you willing to look through the lens of childhood sexual abuse: What do you know about how children are harmed sexually that could help make sense of this play? Always follow up with, what else besides sexual trauma could this child be communicating through this play?

By asking these questions and engaging in education and clinical supervision with experts in the fields of play therapy and trauma, we can deepen our understanding of how to listen to the voices of children who have been sexually traumatized.

In play therapy, listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about understanding the unspoken, unseen, and unheard, acknowledging and empowering children to reclaim their voices and no longer be silenced. How will you join me on this journey as we learn to see the unseen, hear the unheard, and create healing opportunities for children to feel and be unsilenced?

 

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